I learned something new. It's crocheting, but it's also something much greater.

I learned to notice what other people do, and to honor them for it.

My uncle, a very manly man if ever I knew one, crocheted throughout my childhood. It was hard for me to understand at times, because at other times he was hunting deer, building houses, and all sorts of strong things. So it sat with me.

Of course, there's no reason to gender any of this - but friends, I've been taught to do that. Not consciously. Not intentionally. But still, I learned. And I sat with that too.

For 30 years I sat with it. With him. With blankets. With guns and flesh. And now Silke, who really is the love of my life, a soul mate extraordinaire, taught me to crochet. And I love it. I love the work. I love the feeling of my hands, and even my mind as it wraps itself around the contours of these threads and knots.

There is a lot of wisdom in the world. It lives in people. In fires. In plants and wood and rats. It lives in knots, of pine and thread. It lives in you. There's pain here too.

I've been listening to all of it. Many of you know me, you know my mistakes and weaknesses, and all the reasons I'm not the right person to be who I've become. I know it too. I'm such a schmuck.

And yet secretly, all this time I was listening. I noticed. I noticed your smiles, your heavy hearts. I noticed what you do with your hands, your words. It's important that you know that you're beautiful. I will arm wrestle you to prove it. I will sing. I will laugh and be sarcastic. I'll drink tea with you under the stars. Under the leaking garage.

There is something stirring in me. And her name is Silke Rose West. And her name is Eternal. I bow to her, and I bow to you. And I will sing. Ooh boy, just wait. I will sing. Because I've learned to say your name with respect. I've learned to wrap it in blankets, in math lessons and forests. I've learned to carve it invisible, right into the very surface of my palm, wood grain on fingerprint, then pass it quietly on to children.

As if nothing ever happened.

So thanks Uncle JR. I noticed.